Using Social Media as a Force for Good — January 29, 2019

Using Social Media as a Force for Good

I’ve been on twitter since 2013 & for me it’s always been about making connections with fellow Bengalis. And along the way I tweet about stuff that makes me grumpy; sometimes it’s about my life, politics, the environment and everything thing else that annoys me on a day to day basis.

I’ve made some wonderful connections with fellow Bengalis in the U.K. and Bangladesh. For a time early on I built up a good rapport with some Bengalis from Canada.

Past couple of years the environment within the Muslim Twitter community and Bengali/Asian Twitter community has been a little too toxic for my liking. The banter doesn’t flow anymore and it got me thinking about closing my account down.

For some time I gave it thought and then came to a decision of not backing out because I’d lose out on all the wonderful things Twitter has to offer and of course the connections I’ve made with people. I’m going to stay and try my best to do something meaningful.

So, my thoughts then focused on how can I do something meaningful on a platform like Twitter. Anything I do had to be tangible because I need to be able to see the real impact of my efforts, otherwise what’s the point? How will I know I’m making a difference?

After some time I decided I would shamelessly promote businesses as long as they were ethical and/or halal. And in return get these businesses to make a donation to a charity of my choice. I wouldn’t make any demands on how much is donated nor would I ask for evidence of donation. I’d leave all that to the person/business and trust them to do the right thing.

I posted a tweet on 24th October 2018 detailing this purpose/goal of mine. To date I’ve had 10 retweets, 13 likes & 3 interests. And according to the analytics the tweet has made 3,984 impressions. However, no actual business promoted ☹️ which is a little disappointing. Was hoping to get a bit more of an interest as I’m not asking to be paid for this.

If you’re reading this and have a business, product or service you’d like to promote, please get in touch via twitter @grumpybangali Also, I’d appreciate you sharing my details with anyone who you think might be interested in taking me up on my offer. Thanks in advance!!!

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I wrote something that rhymes! It’s a first… — January 16, 2019

I wrote something that rhymes! It’s a first…

I would never describe myself as being a creative person, not in the artistic sense anyway. Creative in other ways but never been able to write well, draw, play instruments etc. So, it came as a huge shock to my system when I was thinking about life as a I do. I actually put together my thoughts and it read like a poem. Here it is;

In the beginning there was just you and me.

Then us two, became three.

Now we are four,

I’m wondering if there is going to be more.

My health and wealth has taken a nosedive, an all time low.

My concern is, can we afford for our little family to grow.

Well, there you have it. I’m feeling quite impressed with myself! But I’m not going to get carried away and start penning anymore or plan a career change. This was a fluke of that I’m sure!

Identity Crisis — July 2, 2018

Identity Crisis

There’s a whole generation of young Muslims of South Asian heritage that I’ve started to worry about recently.

(I don’t believe the issue is recent. My observation and awareness is recent because I decided to join the online community a few years ago)

I see them online on the various social media platforms. They’re in their twenties & thirties, have decent & respectable jobs. They’re very well educated with at least one degree, some even have three!

Some say they are progressive, liberated, free-thinkers. They claim they have sound knowledge of Islam and the culture of their forefathers. Yet what they say and do suggests to me that they are confused.

Many appear to have established multiple identities and maybe even multiple personalities; one for online, offline, for families, close friends, one at work…

I worry about them because they seem to look at culture, tradition and faith as something abhorrent or something that’s desperately in need of modernisation. They think they know and understand better than anyone. Often looking down at their own family, relatives and communities whose cultural and religious beliefs differ to theirs.

Perhaps society as a whole, has put too much pressure on them and this is the end result; an identity crisis. The government, educational establishments & the workplace has pushed them to identify with being British and have British values. The family & wider community wants them to identify for example, as a Bengali & a Muslim and uphold the values of faith and culture. And what they want whether they admit to or realise it or not; is to be left alone, to live, coexist & achieve their goals in life. Not to be judged on every little thing they say and do.

Maybe some of you reading this will think I’m being judgmental here, writing about this. I’m not. I’m concerned. I’m concerned for their overall well-being.

For some it’s a bit of a juggling act, which they manage to do well. For others, it’s quite obvious to see…

My concern is, we’re going to lose whole generations, if we haven’t already, in this crisis. And not enough is being done I feel by those that can do something.

For instance, I believe local masjids & madrasahs should do more to engage with young people outside of their core hours of teaching & learning. Be more open to the local communities they serve & have educators that are skilled to deal with the current generation & be proactive in providing information, advice & guidance.

They’re dealing with a generation of people that are connected globally with a just few keystrokes & at a very young age too. And that can be a tremendously damaging thing to a young person if they’re looking for information, advice, answers etc and end up in the wrong place.

We’ve already seen many instances of young people of all ages, education, class, upbringing, family backgrounds that have been preyed on by monsters out there.

We all have a duty and must do as much as we can no matter how insignificant it may seem to protect future generations. We’re not always going to be successful but to shirk this responsibility for whatever reason is inexcusable. And some might say, to do nothing is to be complicit! 🤨

Do you really know people like you think you do? — April 29, 2018

Do you really know people like you think you do?

In my teenage years I recall hearing a Hadith or similar on truly knowing a person once you have done business with them, travelled on a long journey and have had financial dealings with them.

Did some digging online and this is it:

Kharashah ibnul Hurr (rahimahullah) reports that a man once testified in the presence of Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu’anhu). Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu’anhu) told him: ‘I do not know you, and that is not an issue. Bring someone who does know you.’ A man from the audience said: ‘I know him.’

‘What do you know about him?’ enquired Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu’anhu). The man replied: ‘I know him to be reliable and virtuous.’

At this Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu’anhu) asked him the following three questions:

a) Is he your close neighbour, whose day and night is known to you?

b) Did you deal with him in monetary affairs, which could give an idea of his piety?

c) Was he ever your companion in journey, from which you could have seen his character?

The man replied in the negative to each of these questions.

Sayyiduna ‘Umar (radiyallahu’anhu) said to him: ‘You do not know him.’

He then turned to the witness and said: ‘Bring someone who knows you,’

(Sunanul Kubra of Bayhaqi, vol.10 pg.125)

To me this has always made sense because in those 3 scenarios you get to see how a person behaves with you.

Until recently I’ve never actually experienced any of these three on a personal level. So, on face value everyone in my circle of family, friends, relatives & acquaintances were as far as I was concerned, decent people other than those whose character flaws were obviously known to all for whatever reason.

Here’s a couple of personal interactions with (i) a person who I considered a friend & (ii) a person who is an acquaintance.

The friend

This is a person I’ve known since year 7 of high school. A guy who I supported immensely at school because he arrived in the U.K. as a young person & couldn’t speak, read or write English. As a result of my efforts in supporting him at school, we ended up becoming friends & until recent years stayed friends.

A several years ago he told me he was struggling financially to the point he was having difficulty paying bills & mortgage. Naturally I felt bad & initially I gave him a couple of hundred here and there. After a few months, he’d pay me back. So, it wasn’t a problem. It’s what friends do isn’t it…

In 2012 I found myself redundant & this friend was leaving his workplace to try his luck at opening his own business. After a few months, he came to me asking for help because business was bad and he was struggling to pay his bills etc. I happily gave him a considerable sum of money from my redundancy pay.

It’s been 6 years and I’m still owed some money. I managed to get most of it from him over the years but it’s been hard work! During this time I know the guy has had a go at opening 4 businesses in partnership with others (not including the takeaway) & 3 of them are active.

Because of the way he has treated me over this money he owes me, he has thrown away our friendship of about 20+ years.

The acquaintance

This is a mature family man I met at work. He is certainly someone, people who ‘know’ him, would describe as a decent, honest, god fearing man.

He mentioned to me, roughly 6 years ago, that he was having difficulties financially. It was just a general conversation and he wasn’t asking for me to help him out.

I had several hundred pounds just sitting in an account doing nothing. So, I offered him the money & felt it was right thing to do. It was a very good use of my money.

He graciously accepted & promised to return my money as quickly as possible or when I needed, whichever was sooner.

It’s been a few years & despite asking for it on numerous occasions, I am still waiting.

Now both these individuals have over the last few years enjoyed holidays abroad, had parties, replaced cars, opened & closed businesses etc. They could’ve have quite easily done the honourable thing & repaid their debt as a priority but they haven’t.

Thankfully this experience has taught me a lot but it won’t deter me from helping others when & where possible. Just not those two ever again 😆

The Struggle is REAL; living with IBS, Sciatica & fibromyalgia — March 26, 2018

The Struggle is REAL; living with IBS, Sciatica & fibromyalgia

IBS

I may have mentioned this once or twice before in previous blogs. I started experiencing bowel issues around the age of 14.

Initially I ignored it thinking it was just one of those things that would sort itself out with time. But the weeks turned in to months and I was turning up to school late, running out in the middle of lessons and growing increasingly concerned about leaving the house in case there wasn’t a toilet available.

I couldn’t talk about it with anyone. My family weren’t the talking or understanding kind.

After about a couple of years of putting up with the issues, I found the courage to go and speak to my GP. I explained my symptoms and this GP didn’t seem to think it was anything serious and put it all down to diet; advising me to eat healthy and stay away from red meat completely.

In the early days my symptoms were almost entirely all in the morning and after I had emptied my bowel, however many visits to the toilet or however long it took. I was good to go for the rest of the day. Occasionally I would need to go again during the afternoon or evening.

As my symptoms affected me the most during the mornings, my studies were affected massively. My GCSE grades weren’t brilliant and then things got worse at College because I’d end up missing whole classes in the morning, most days.

I had big dreams of going to University and a career in Aircraft Engineering. That soon vanished because of IBS & my inability to openly talk about it & reach out for help.

Looking back, I don’t think it would’ve made much difference if I had talked about it & asked for help because very little was known or done to address symptoms of IBS at the time. IBS was mostly seen as a female issue back then, specifically women over a certain age. Even now, GPs aren’t trained or very knowledgeable & see IBS as either diarrhoea or constipation issue. They don’t understand how life changing IBS can be & what effect it has on a person & how it’s different for everyone.

Without going in to all the horrible symptoms I experience and a long & detailed list of how it affects me. I’ll briefly mention some of the the ways IBS impacts my life:

• I am unable to leave the house until I feel satisfied I will not need to go to the toilet.

• I can’t do morning appointments at all!

• Employment is seriously limited due to it & most of the labour market operates 9-5 hours of operation. Employers do discriminate.

• Having to constantly find ways to get things done in the afternoons.

• Miss out on family time, all the time where travel is needed or it’s a morning thing like going on a school trip or attending a school performance.

• Long haul holidays are completely off the agenda.

• All holidays abroad must be evening or late afternoon flights, short haul, hotels/resorts must be close to the airport etc. And any excursions must accommodate IBS needs.

Think the bullet points above will have given a sense of what it’s like to have IBS but it doesn’t end there. There’s the constant fatigue that comes with having IBS (and Fibromyalgia – which I will talk about shortly), the depression, anxiety and not to mention financial difficulties. It’s a vicious circle…

Sciatica

My very first episode of Sciatica was in 2014. It came out of nowhere; woke up one morning unable to put any pressure whatsoever on my feet, particularly the left foot, without being in absolute agony.

First GP I saw, prescribed Co-Codamol & put it down to muscle pain and sent me on my way. This episode lasted for two weeks! I was off work during this time, housebound and just about managed to get the basic stuff done.

After much effort with GP practice staff, I got another appointment and this time the GP I saw said it was Sciatica and prescribed me some painkillers that actually worked, it took a bit of time but it worked! The pain was much more tolerable since I started on Naproxen. However, both Naproxen and Co-Codamol affect my IBS. So, there’s no winning!

Sciatica has become a permanent fixture in my life and affects me every single day. Some days are more painful than others. Thankfully, I haven’t had a repeat of the first incident and have been able to work through the pain taking Naproxen when needed.

Unless you’ve experienced Sciatica, I imagine it’d be quite difficult for you to imagine the level & kinds of pain I or anyone else with Sciatica has to endure.

Fibromyalgia

For as long as I can remember, certainly from my teens anyway. I’ve always had back, neck & shoulder pains.

Been to GPs countless times over the years & always fobbed off with you’re too young for it to be anything serious, go & eat health and do plenty of exercise.

Over the years I pretty much avoided going to the GP unless I had an infection of some kind. Mostly because I found them to be absolutely useless, unhelpful & uncaring.

About two years ago, I got fed up with all the aches & pains everywhere and downloaded a diagram of the human body. I printed this off & notes all the areas on my body where I experience pain and examples of the kinds of pain.

I booked an appointment and took my notes with me. I showed this to the GP & was dismissed, no surprise there! Left the surgery completely deflated as I really hoped that after seeing my notes, I’d get taken seriously & referral would be made to some kind of pain specialist.

After a few weeks, I tried again with my notes & this time the GP I saw referred me to see a Rheumatologist. To me this was progress; I wasn’t expecting any miracles, cures or immediate answers but at least I could have the opportunity to explore why I was getting these symptoms.

My hopes were quickly dashed when I received a letter from the hospital stating the Rheumatology department was incredibly busy & would send out further communication when they had an appointment but this could take several months, maybe longer.

A couple of months after receiving this letter, I had a phone call from the Rheumatology department asking if I can attend Saturday clinic as they’d started running additional clinics to get on top of the backlog. I jumped at the opportunity & took the first appointment I was given.

I made further notes & dates when the various symptoms began, which I took with me to my appointment.

The Rheumatologist I saw, based on what I had said believed it was Fibromyalgia.

Fibromyalgia was at the top of my list, from all the research I had done over the years. Now I had an expert backing it up.

Finally, I can say to people that I’m not faking it, it’s not made up in my head, I’m not exaggerating & what I’m going through IS invisible BUT it’s definitely REAL!

Here’s a link to the the NHS website detailing symptoms of fibromyalgia https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/fibromyalgia/symptoms/

Since the diagnosis I’ve been doing various bits of research to manage my conditions as the support from the GP and hospital has been/is non-existent. And the only thing the GP is willing to do is prescribe antidepressants for the pain.

There may come a time when I have no choice but to start on antidepressants but as long as practically possible, I will avoid them. I’ve seen far too many people and read personal stories of more, who have suffered greatly by taking antidepressants.

IF you’ve managed to read my (very) personal story. Well done! I know it was long & assure you I did my best to keep it as brief as possible.

I have request, if you come across anyone with an invisible illness please be understanding & show some compassion. They’re not seeking attention, faking it or asking for sympathy. In addition to the illness/es, there will undoubtedly be a whole host of other issues they’re dealing with, so be as supportive as you can.

Thank you.

Rohingya  — September 19, 2017

Rohingya 

Before I begin, just want to make it very clear for the trolls out there. I’m not a conspiracy theorist, political commentator, religious or any other kind of fanatic.

I’ve been aware of ongoing violence in Myanmar for many years now. Getting my information from grassroots charities working in & around the country, reputable journalists, activists & other sources.

It pains me to see human beings, innocent or not, lose their homes, livelihoods and worse, their lives. All because of differences in beliefs, intolerance, political differences, land/territory etc. Sadly, this sort of thing seems to be occurring more frequently in various parts of the world and on the surface it all appears to be for similar reasons to what I’ve just mentioned. Maybe it’s more than that…

With regards to Myanmar & the Rohingyas, it’s quite close to home for me as I’m from Bangladesh.

I’ve observed Bangladeshis in the UK & Bangladesh argue over what should be done as the situation along the border, until recently was already very fragile with tensions building between local residents, government officials, refugees, the army and aid agencies, is at critical point!

Whatever you viewpoint is, it cannot be denied that Bangladesh is not capable of supporting the numbers that have sought refuge before the recent influx, let along the numbers stated by United Nations, Bangladeshi government & aid agencies that have poured in, in the past couple of weeks.

It’s incredibly heartwarming to see so many organisations & individuals working tirelessly to provide basic food, water, sanitation, medical and other essential services to these refugees BUT it’s never going to be enough not even in the short term. And so far, I’ve not heard a damn thing about the long term solutions other than Bangladeshi government miraculously finding the funds, technology & other resources to document all refugees coming through in recent weeks. So they can be identified & when the time comes returned to Myanmar.

I don’t want to go down the route of a history lesson on the origins of the Rohingya people and how they came to be in the situation they find themselves in, as there’s been some very good articles in the press educating people already. Have a look for yourself if you want.

What I do want to share with you is my thoughts when I take a step back and look at the situation unfolding.

The British government has been providing funding & military support to the Burmese army for what they’ve called ‘training’. And have clearly stated they will not cease their operations. Since the condemned by United Nations, Amnesty, HRW and others, British government has publicly said it wants the situation to be resolved but no real action.

The Australian government is reported to have encouraged the refugees from that dreaded hell hole where they’re kept imprisoned, to leave & return to Myanmar, enticing refugees with cash of around $25,000.

The US, despite Obama making a pledge to take in some of the refugees from the Australian run island prison has refused since that Orange peel took to office. And as we’ve already seen, he doesn’t care for humanity or the environment.

Some efforts have been made by the Iranian, Indonesian, Malaysian & Turkish governments with Turkey providing considerable aid recently but not a lot from any of the other Muslim nations.

India clearly doesn’t want any refugees but that’s no big news given the current government.

China, will not get involved and will show support for India with Russia giving the directives.

Pakistan has issues of its own and will want to distance itself from all this as much as possible. Although there has been a lot of public outcry on the issue as well as the former cricketer, Imran Khan, drawing public support with huge numbers gathering to condemn the ethnic cleansing carried out by the Burmese army.

That leaves the Arab nations, other Western countries & African nations. Don’t expect much from them to be honest.

Going back to the British government for a moment; I genuinely think there’s a political game going on here where the Rohingyas are simply collateral damage. 

Humour me for a moment…

The British government was involved in this from the beginning & then walked away. Perhaps they now see benefits to being back in the region with military presence albeit in insignificant numbers, for now.

Perhaps destabilising Myanmar by doing nothing to prevent this will create a situation for the British army to have a more significant presence in Myanmar. 

Perhaps the reason for having military presence in Myanmar is vital given how China, India & Russia have become best of pals recently – ignore the little stand off between China & India over the Doklam plateau – it’s prudent to stand guard.

Whatever the truth is behind the recent persecutions and the ethnic cleansing going on right now. It’s important that ordinary people like you & me, show humanity and support for the Rohingyas in any way we can in their hour of need. 

This can be with donations to a reputable charitable organisation to help pay for vital services, writing to local MPs, sharing fundraising activities with your network when you come across it or asked to by someone you know, making sincere duas and anything else you can think of. It’s important to bear in mind that to do nothing, is to be complicit in the crimes committed against these people. 

If you believe in God, how will you answer when you’re asked the question, what did you do to help? 

If you don’t believe in God, how will you justify it to yourself knowing you did nothing when thousands of innocent men, women & children were brutally murdered?

#SeeSomethingDoSomething

* I have intentionally left out ASSK. That’s another blog for another day.

Why do haters hate! — March 31, 2017

Why do haters hate!

Today my Wife was telling me about a woman – Farhana Begum trading as @taaltastic – running taal design/decorating classes & the extortionate prices she’s charging for one to one lessons.

She also told me about the people who were commenting on this woman’s social networking posts with their vile comments in a troll like manner.

This kind of stuff really annoys me!!!

I strongly believe in a persons right to freedom of thought. However, there’s a clear distinction between saying what you think, being critical & simply being a hater!

The way I see it, Farhana Begum, is an enterprising woman who is working hard to earn an income for herself & her family. It can be argued that her designs & her taals are basic or that her pricing structure is astronomical BUT that’s not a criminal offence nor is she engaged in immoral activities.

She has decided that’s how much she wants to charge for her time, ideas, talents & products. If you don’t like it or feel it’s overpriced, don’t buy it! It’s that simple! Why all the hate?! I just don’t get it. 

Could it be that they’re acting out of jealousy?  Whatever the reason is behind this horrible behaviour, it needs to stop!  We need to create an environment for our fellow Bengalis to prosper, learn & grow together to achieve big things.

Ramadhan is a window in to what we all could become if we tried! — June 22, 2016

Ramadhan is a window in to what we all could become if we tried!

If you’ve read my previous blogs you’ll know I was born in to Islam. I grew up surrounded by Muslims in a Muslim majority country & then moved to the UK. 
The town where I moved to & still live, had a small Muslim population in the late 80’s & early 90’s but these days it’s grown considerably.

So fasting & other aspects of Islam isn’t anything new to me. What is new, is looking at things a little differently & digging a little deeper for my own understanding.

Back to the blog…

I recall from my younger days seeing everyone in my local community making a visible effort to better themselves during this holy month. People that I knew; who were chain smokers, drug & alcohol users, gamblers, those who rarely visited the masjid etc. All made considerable efforts to put their bad habits on hold during this month and really try to achieve some spiritual gain.
Aside from these noticeable changes there were also the more subtle character changes adopted especially during this month. I would often see people refrain from stopping at the usual hangouts for a bit of gossip, minimise their use of foul language, modest dress code, women who normally didn’t wear the hijab would often wear it or at least wear a headscarf loosely covering most of the head. These are just few examples that I observed as a young person; I was and still am fascinated by it all!
Even though I am guilty of not practicing my faith to the fullest or to the best of my abilities. I still see Ramadhan as an opportunity to work towards being a better person, a Muslim. It’s a window in to what we all could become if we tried!
Let’s be honest with ourselves. If we wanted to, we could implement some if not all the changes that we put in to practice during the month of Ramadhan. I’m not saying fast everyday, perform additional Salaat on top of the mandatory five, give to charity, engage in all kinds of Ibadat.  
What I’m saying is, we could all realistically look at all the acts of worship we engage in during Ramadhan, which we don’t do outside of this month. And pick at least one or more that we can implement in our daily lives permanently. What’s needed here is a genuine desire to make it happen & a small amount of effort.
Let’s look at something that doesn’t require any real effort unlike waking up for Fajr everyday. I’ll pick Sadaqah to explain my point. I’m sure you give to charity regularly and may even have standing orders set up paying a favoured charity or masjid. Why not make sincere intentions & give a little more. Doesn’t have to be a lot, could be £1 every month to a worthwhile cause. If you’re stuck on deciding who to give your hard earned pennies to, here’s one http://www.amirah.org.uk – their Facebook page has the bank details.
Perhaps you don’t want to commit to a regular monthly donation because money is tight. Be a little creative; get yourself an empty coffee jar. Every time you do something you shouldn’t do & be brutally honest with yourself, put 10 pence in. Not only will you have money to give to charity but you’ll also realise something. 
I hope I’ve made my point & you will join me in my efforts to make at least one change.
This isn’t anything like a New Year’s resolution #NewYearNewMe this is far more important & involves the Hereafter. This life is ephemeral & every little we do will make all the difference when it truly matters. This one change will lead to other changes & could potentially be what saves you in the end.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice — May 31, 2016

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

Like so many people out there I had been eagerly waiting for this movie to be completed and released.

Finally, the day came but I had been struggling for time. Two & half hours, plus travelling time and a meal after. That’s a whole afternoon! Sadly, a luxury I don’t have these days. However, with some planning & moving things around on my never ending to-do list; I managed to free up some time and watch it.

After the release, I had read some scathing reviews on this movie. Heard so many people comment on how Wonder Woman stole the show etcetera.

On the whole I found it enjoyable to watch & I did not think Wonder stole the show. If anything, I felt she was an unnecessary addition if this was a stand alone movie but I guess this movie kind of sets the scene for others in future. The first hour did drag a little with a needless backstory on Batman.

As I said earlier, it was enjoyable but it wasn’t mind blowing…

The many roles of men & women in family life — March 27, 2016

The many roles of men & women in family life

This blog is not intended as a sexist piece of writing in any way whatsoever.  It’s purely my thoughts based on my life experiences & those around me.

Over the years I have witnessed on numerous occasions the women in my life complain about their husbands, fathers, sons & brothers.

I have no doubt at some point (not going in to whether it was right or wrong) you dear reader have experienced this either as the dissatisfied female or as the male on the receiving end.

The point of this blog is not to go in to what’s right & what’s wrong for very obvious reasons.

I simply want remind you mothers, sisters, wives & daughters that it’s incredibly difficult for a man to please you all, all of the time. At some point he will not be able to fulfil his duties to you & it would be wise to take in to consideration the other roles a man has to perform.

For example, a man first & foremost is a son, then a brother, then a husband & then a father. These roles are on top of his duties either as a breadwinner or a househusband.

Equally, a woman is going to experience similar sort of difficulties and men, if you’re reading this, you need to understand and appreciate all the challenges faced by women in your life.

My Wife has often expressed her frustrations to me about her Brothers & wishes they would treat their Mother the way I treat mine. I take that as a compliment. However, there’s been many instances where I’ve been on the receiving end of my Wife’s wrath for fulfilling my filial duties! And this double standard has been the cause of some heated arguments over the years.

Relationships are incredibly difficult (most of the time) & takes huge effort to maintain a happy & healthy one. It would certainly, in my view, make things easier and perhaps eliminate some of the arguments if we all appreciated the roles we each perform.

So, next time you’re not particularly happy with a family member be it your husband/wife, brother/sister, son/daughter. Just remember how difficult it can be for them to juggle all their responsibilities & be there for you when you want/need them.

@GrumpyBangali